We had an eventful week here at the Fitzpatricks.  Grace's Gramma and Grampa  Peter (Pat's Mom and Step-Dad) joined us on Wednesday evening for a visit to see Grace for the first time.  They were also able to take in the kid's school play of Our Town where Adam had a significant part and Ryan handled the lighting on the crew.  (They both did great, by the way and Adam handled his role as Mr. Webb with ease and great humor). Then on the following morning, Peter had to go to the ER after complications from a routine test he had done last week. It was frightening, but thankfully the doctors discovered the source of the problem and took care of it.  At this writing, Pat, Mom, and Peter are waiting for the discharge papers after he has been there for over 2 days now.  So Pat spent his weekend shuttling the boys back and forth to the play performances and Mom back and forth from the hospital.  Meanwhile, I held down the fort and of course, continued to hold Grace. 

At nearly 11 months old Grace is now standing while holding onto things but still not sturdy enough not to fall if unattended.  She is also much more comfortable on her tummy and can scoot -- backwards a little. She is still stuck in the "I eat everything I can get into my mouth - particularly paper" stage and she particularly likes to suck on the end of my belt.  As for sleeping, she is now sleeping in her crib for naps and in our bed for evenings. Consequently we are getting MUCH more sleep since we brought her into our bed. She still wakes with cries of alarm or a racing heart but having me and Pat near calms her quickly and we are only momentarily interrupted from our sleep. She has been getting in about 10 hours of sleep but at around 8 hours, she starts pulling her legs up as if in pain, signaling a need for food. Once she downs a bottle, she immediately goes back to sleep for the remaining 2 hours and wakes happy and smiling. 

Mom said, "She only has eyes for her Mama" and yes, she is beginning to rely on me even more.  Everything I've read though shows that this is a good thing and it is developing in her a confidence that we are her forever family who will love her and meet her needs unlike any she has known before.  At night when she reaches for me in the dark she grabs my hand and interlaces her little fingers through mine.  She also will reach out in the dark and find my face with her fingertips and I hear her breathing slow and her body grow still and calm.  I've also noticed that when I carry her, she holds on -- something she did not do for weeks.  Instead she would keep her arms outstretched. And finally, she is beginning to make more eye contact with me and the rest of the family. This is a significant breakthrough and shows she is really beginning to embrace intimacy with us.

Below you will see this week's hodgepodge of pictures. As I look at them, I realize that it's been a while since I've had a photo taken with my daughter so I'll have to correct that next week!  She is still a little angel and we are enjoying her more and more and feeling blessed beyond measure every day to have our little China doll heavensent.

While we were walking through the Newark airport en route to China Sharon asked me to write a tribute poem for Grace.  As she asked this, a sparrow flitted through the airport.  I was struck with the thought that this bird is trapped inside the airport and probably isn't even aware of it.  I thought this sparrow could provide an appropriate metaphor for Grace's living conditions in China:  Abandoned at birth, confined to the poor, rural lifestyle of her foster parents, suffering through a harsh winter without heat, living under the mantle of communism - and all the while having no awareness of the life that awaited her back in the states.

I couldn't get this picture out of my head, so I had to put pencil to paper (actually fingers to a keyboard).  This won't do for the real tribute poem that I intend to write, but now that this poem is out of my head I can start dreaming again.

Happy one month home anniversary to us and to Grace!  Grace was running a fever for the first part of this week but licked it and is back to her sweet wakeful self. I have to admit that having a sleepy baby was kind of nice for a few days!  Overall, however, it's been a month of more firsts, more AND less sleep, more development with sitting, standing, and grasping, and most notably, more attachment.  Below you will find a hodgepodge of pics from this week.  You will find Grace getting help from her brothers for all sorts of fun things, like airplane rides, upside down rides, shoulder rides, piano playing in traditional and novel ways, and yes, drooling.  You'll see Grace learning that glasses are hard to figure out but so is this whole big new world she's in. You'll also see that Grace has learned that her Daddy's chest is a nice big bed and that her doggy is still a curiosity.  She also played wtih a doll this week (thank you Kelly!), and she discovered that her hair is yummy to suck on. 

For Pat and for me, this month has had its fill of change as well and it was easy to see the major advances for us on a week by week basis:
Week One -- Jet Lag and the fog of sleep deprivation as Grace tries to change to our time zone.
                        Thankfully, my Mom was here to help us survive and keep the household running!
Week Two -- Grace is now on our time zone but is not sleeping through the night so sleep deprivation for us continues. 
                        The adjustment curve to life with Grace and our four boys without a tank filled with sleep is difficult.
Week Three -- Grace sleeps a bit more at night, we feel more human, and we see the light at the end of the tunnel.
                         By week's end, Pat and I are laughing and joking with one another again after a long draught of survival mode.
Week Four -- Life is much more manageable and although we still aren't getting a full night of rest, it is enough to function well.
                        We're getting out with Grace and getting into more of a system at home and life is looking and feeling much better!

Just a word of warning...you might want a tissue or two at hand when you start this video.  Neither Sharon or I can make through this nine minute video without a lot of happy tears.  Hope you enjoy it!  It can be seen in the "Special Video Moments" section of this website or directly from youtube at www.youtube.com/pilznar.


From our website (smaller version) - CLICK HERE


Youtube version (can be enlarged to fit your screen) - CLICK HERE

There it is, my money shot of all of my kids together for their first picture as siblings. It, quite frankly, moves me to tears.   From looking at our brood of five you would think that having children has been an easy affair for the Fitzpatricks, but that is far from the case.  All of our birth children came after infertility tests that were not only physically invasive and difficult to bear, but emotionally draining and crippling.  The result of a year of this was the Dr. raising his hands in the air and saying, "I have no idea what is the problem, but take a little fertility drugs and hopefully it will be like fertilizer to your infertile soil."  One and half years of "fertilizer" and Adam came joyously to us. His middle name is Samuel, meaning, "Asked of God." What joy it was to my heart to be a mother after all of those years of tears.  For the other boys it was more Clomid and more years of trying until their conceptions. The twins, because they were identical, were not the result of any extra eggs, but rather just an extra special double blessing. Then for our last precious boy, I was on my last month of fertility drugs after being told that I couldn't have any more Clomid because having more could lead to cancer concerns.  This was it for me. No more pills.  Now or never.

Praise the Lord, as we nearly gave up hope of another child, God blessed us yet again.  At the same time, however, knowing that there would be no more fertility pills for me, I gave up my deep seated desire to have a little girl.  I bowed my will to the Father's and knew He had a perfect plan, and we moved on.  Then suddenly during my 40th year of life, I became pregnant 3 times and lost all 3 of those babies.  It was devastating to me, but I see now that it began to warm in my heart the idea of more children.  Just one year later, God brought our friend Chip to our now primed soil of readiness and we felt God leading us into the journey of adoption.   Not only would we be rescuing a child and giving her a home, but God would end up using it to soothe over the barren waters of my own soul and give me a daughter of great joy.  Neither of us felt complete in our family until Grace came to us, and God used the process of adoption to bring her to us and round out our family circle.

There are many verses in my Bible marked with dates that show how God was working in my heart. One of them comes quickly to mind as I look with such joy upon this picture of my children -- my five beautiful and wonderful children!  It is marked in my Bible on 8-25-91 when I was pregnant with Adam, and it couldn't be more true today than it was then.  "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children."  Thank you God, for your long, painful at times, yet perfectly crafted journey to making me such a happy mother of children. 

 There are many organizations that help orphans in China. One of them is Love without Boundaries.  In 2004, Love Without Boundaries Foundation published the book "Love's Journey: A Collage of the China Adoption Experience."  Parents from around the world submitted photos, essays, and poems about what their adoption experiences meant to them.  Our first Christmas with Grace on our hearts and in our minds was 2005 and I asked for this book from Pat as a Christmas present.  It is a beautiful book that we have cherished. This organization puts all of the proceeds of this book toward helping orphaned and impoverished children in China.  God's heart is caring for the orphans and there are many ways to do it - like us, through prayer, or through organizations like this .  We are so grateful for all they do. I wanted to make note of them and their website and all that they do and offer for children just like Grace.

www.lovewithoutboundaries.com

Grace has never been on her stomach that we can figure. She hates being put into this position whereas with all of our other kids, that's the number 1 sleeping position and the first position the kids ever got used to. She usually lays there like beached sea creature who can't figure out how to get back into the "swim" of things.  We try to get her on her stomach though every day for a little while just to build up those muscles and to help her learn how to use them to aid in her mobility issues.  Ethan has a knack, however, of getting her to like it. He has actually had her on her stomach reaching for, of all things, an apple for several minutes at a time.  I don't know if Grace will ever crawl or just go straight to walking. Time will tell, but for now, we give Grace a little exercise every day. Afterall, she is eager to be mobile. If she only knew that going belly down would be the quickest route to mobility!  You know, I've always loved my kids at 5 months of age and have said in the past that it is the best age. They are generally just learning to sit and are happy to play with toys. This is where Grace is at developmentally but not mentally. So for her, she is NOT content to just sit even though she has just recently mastered the art of sitting in this past week. She is eager for the NEXT stage which is mobility. The quicker she can get there, the happier, we believe she will be.  One thing at a time, dear Grace. You'll get there and for now, we're very proud of your efforts and your accomplishments!

This blog may not be very interesting but some of you have been asking me how Grace likes her room and she loves it!  Today I finally snapped a few photos of her enjoying her crib, reaching out to the dog, and her latest silent pastime, drooling. To my delight, she seems enthralled with the hanging butterflies above her crib, her crib toy, and most of the items in her room.  She has yet to sleep in her crib. For now, she sleeps in a Pack 'N Play in our room at night and another one downstairs during naps. This way we can be close to her for when she wakens and she does waken  A LOT!  I generally have her in her room, however, once a day to play in her crib and on the floor so that she can begin to enjoy her room and her eventual sleeping domain.  She seems to really love being in there and the pictures play out some of the fun she has in there. Notice that she had fun today reaching out to Andre and having him reach back with wet "kisses". 

Someone at the airport said she is like a little actress with many faces and you can see some of those many faces below.  Yesterday I was with a friend and she only basically showed one face - that of the one that's the 8th picture featured below.  It is the one she shows to most people in new situations because she is busy studying them or whatever is around them. Don't worry Jaime, she'll be smiling at you soon! Once she has studied the environment, she starts to engage her smiley face. Grace loves to see smiles and to hear laughter and it usually brings out the smiles in her so the boys and Pat and I do a lot of smiling and laughing around here - more so than usual! 

And a note about the drool -- if you look closely you can see it in most of the pictures below. Grace soaks through 3-4 drool bibs every day. I'm glad she wasn't doing this in China or I would have never been able to keep her dry!  But two days ago Grace had another tooth break through so I'm hoping the drool will start to slow down now for a little while. We'll see!  Now Grace has 8 teeth at 10 months old. Wow.  That's 8 more than my boys had at this age! No wonder she's drooling!!

Sharon

Check out the first movie in an installment of at least three under "Special Video Moments."  Next on the agenda - an extended version of our Gotcha Day.

One week ago today we had all of those tests run on Grace.  We did ask at that time about her eyes and if there was a possibility that they were crossed.  The Dr. had her follow his light and finger and then said, "No -- her eyes are great. They are not crossed."  He went on to tell us that Asians with a wide bridge sometimes look cross-eyed but it's not so.  We don't know whether or not they will look less crossed as she grows but we can tell you this -- when you see Grace in person, they don't look crossed at all. These highly observant eyes follow and track with every little thing in perfect sync. 

All week we've been waiting for the results of the blood work and other tests run on her.  I've been holding my breath a bit and anxiously awaiting the news.  Today around 5:30 pm we finally got a call from our doctor. He ran through all of the tests and the outcome was "Great! Everything looks great!"  Whew!   Grace looks perfectly healthy to us, but this was yet another hurdle we needed to cross with her. She came through with flying colors and we are praising God!  This week Adam said, "How did we get such a perfect baby?"  and I told him that God was good to us. Of course, God is always good, but we marvel at what a special and wonderful little gift we have been given.  Thank you Father for your blessing to us!

Sharon