We heard from our Home Study agency this morning that it will be a "simple fix" to amend our Home Study and they are doing it free of charge! 

On Friday, our Adoption Agency went to bat for us and sent along supporting documentation that we only needed an Amended Home Study (i.e. drop in the new language and send it on out to USCIS).  They had proof that anyone with a valid Home Study would be able to do this - even in NC. 

Today (Monday) we got the word that we can do this. They said, "Oh yes, we've been doing this for people like you whose Home Studies are less than 6 months old)." Really?  Then why has it been 2 weeks now with no word from you UNTIL you go the email from our agency.  Hmmmm. .  And the director wrote to us saying that she hadn't had our file in front of her when she told us that we needed a completely new Home Study update.  If she had known that we were within 6  months, she never would have told us that.  Really?  You always answer definitely when you don't have someone's file? 

In either case, we feel blessed to have a wonderful new agency standing behind us AND blessed to have this obstacle totally removed!!

We're rejoicing!  Onward -- to Travel Approvals and our trip to China!!

Sharon

Yesterday we got word from our adoption agency that they wanted us to contact our Home Study Agency to get an addendum filled out and sent to USCIS (Dept. of Homeland Security). Evidently, there have been more and more children who when they go to pass through the final medical exam have been found to have something that was missed on the original medical exam. Even if it is simply a mole, or maybe a sickness with a temperature,  instead of being classified as "healthy", they are deemed a child with a "minor correctible problem". IF your Home Study didn't have it written that you were approved for such a child, you had to in the past simply get your Home Study Agency to send out an addendum and it was done in a matter of hours. 

As of July 1, the new director at the Consulate wants the wording on our I171H. In order to do this, you have to get your addendum and have it sent through our Government's channels. This usually takes several weeks. 

To prepare for this eventuality, we were told to get an addendum now because neither our Home Study nor our I171H has this wording.  But when I wrote to our Home Study Agency I was told that the adjudicate in North Carolina refuses to do just an addendum. They feel the law is clear that to change your 171H, you need a completely re-done Home Study. This means an additional fee of $800 at this point (expedited), plus physicals for all of us, criminal reference checks, a child abuse check, interviews in the home, and financial record updates.   All of this would total approximately $1400 and we don't even know if there is time enough to get all of this completed and returned before our Mid-September travel.

We have the option NOT to do the Home Study update and "hope for the best".  What does that mean? Does it mean that we get all the way to the last day in China and find out there is a problem and have to leave our daughter there? Does it mean that we would have to wait until new paperwork goes through our government channels? Would we have to come home and do a Home Study and go back to China again?

We are waiting to hear from our adoption agency about what they would advise next. They are aware of our unemployment situation and know that we are just days from getting our referral.  I have no idea how this is going to play out but I am trusting that God is bigger than China's red tape OR America's red tapel  If he wants us to get our Grace, he will. 

My Mom says this is our labor pains. They are painful, intense, and filled with both tears and longing for our Grace.

Will you pray for us and for our Grace that God would clear any obstacles and work miracles on our behalf and provide generously to meet our financial needs?

And to our dear daughter who will one day read of all of these labor pains -- you are so worth it my child.  You are wanted and dearly loved and we will do all we can to bring you home.

Sharon

Friday, January 6, 2006 12:51 PM, CST

Our social worker came to our house this week for her last visit - her first with our boys. All of our boys were cordial, outgoing, and funny. I feel good that their conversation with the social worker not only showed them to be pleasant, but also excited about their role as a big brother to Grace.

Also, there have been rumors circulating the internet that China is purposefully slowing down their adoption process - shifting the typical wait time after the dossier is logged in (LID) to the Chinese system from 7-10 months up to 10-12 months. Our dossier consultant e-mailed us yesterday to let us know that this rumor is untrue and that the wait time is still 7-10 months following LID. This is great news, but we are highly tentative about completely embracing it.

Our last piece - the fingerprinting - is taking place in Charlotte, NC on January 26. This will be the last thing we need to do, or can do, other than wait. (Pat)

Our social worker called today. She's out of the hospital and doing better. Praise God! We will be rescheduling our last visit with her in the first few days after the New Year. She promised that this won't hold us up a bit since she has almost everything written.

Our social worker was scheduled to be here yesterday afternoon for our last homestudy visit and the one we were a little anxious about - the one in our home. Sharon spent the day cleaning and tidying and getting things looking just right.  About an hour before our appointed time,however, her husband called to let us know that she was taken by ambulance to the hospital. We are in the dark about any details, and so we can only pray - thankfully to the God who knows every detail and who has the power to heal. Our social worker's name is Debbie. Please pray for her! While this may set us back a few days or even a few weeks, the delay is rather inconsequential with all things considered. Our family is gearing up for Christmas, Sharon's parents will be arriving in a few days, and now the house that was cleaned from top to bottom for the social worker is ready for Christmas guests.

Have a wonderful Christmas season. Thank you for your ongoing prayers for Grace and for us through the adoption process. (Pat)

A quick update. Sharon and the boys are getting their TB tests tomorrow. I got mine the other day and was cleared of one more potential obstacle.

Last week we had our second visit with the social worker. It went very well. Sharon decided to simply tell the social worker that we first met at a college talent show where she was doing her ventriloquism and I was singing. Neither of us chose to elaborate on the fact that I was singing with my stomach - complete with a cartoon face painted on my belly, my arms and head hiding inside a giant top hat. It's a long story, but let's just say I have been blessed with the genetics that makes rolling my stomach possible. That, coupled by the fact that the college swim team I was on had a friendly rivalry with the Men's Glee Club, made for an interesting opportunity that I couldn't pass up. My group was known as the Wee Club, and we brought the house down. Of course Sharon won Most Talented, and even though this was my first encounter with Sharon I knew as I watched her perform that I wanted to marry her.

The one line of questions that I was a bit anxious about pertained to how we discipline our four boys. I am confident that the approach Sharon and I take is appropriate, but how would China view our approach? Thankfully, we weren't asked to elaborate. In fact, our social worker creatively skirted the issue of spanking by asking us, "is it okay if I write that you don't do corporal punishment?" Well, I wanted to be truthful, and the truth is we have found it necessary to spank our children, so I asked her, "how are you defining 'corporal punishment'?" She answered, "extreme beatings and imprisonment." I smiled at her and said with all honesty, "it is definitely okay if you write that!"

This coming Monday the social worker will be visiting with our children in our home. I wonder if she'll ask the boys if we've ever imprisoned them?

We had our first homestudy visit with our social worker this past week. During our first visit the social worker interviewed Sharon and me about our past - our interests, our favorite subjects in school, what our parents were like, etc. Trying to describe my father who passed away in '89 was a little hard for me. I quoted from a poem I wrote about him, I told a few stories, and I tried very hard not to give in to what could have easily been a lot of tears. My life (pre-Sharon and kids) was distilled into 90 minutes, which was about an hour longer than Sharon took to answer the same questions. I don't know if I'll live that down, but I am determined to be more concise in our next visit where our social worker will be asking us about how we met and our life since then. I won't, for example, tell her that Sharon and I met at a Wheaton College talent show where I was singing with my stomach and she was doing her ventriloquism. I'm not quite sure how that will translate into Mandarin. I also don't think I need to say that from the first moment I saw her throwing her voice I knew that I wanted her to throw her voice my way.

The third and final visit from our social worker will be in our home (the other two are at her office). During this visit she will meet our children and interview them.

Following these three completed interviews our social worker will put together an 8-10 page document that tells our life story. This will be interspersed with quotes from each of our personal references, etc. and will then be part of the completed home study that goes to Harrah's Adoption Agency.

To prepare the kids for her arrival, I told them about the entire process the other night at dinner. I shared with them that more than likely she will be asking each of them questions like, "do you want a sister?" or "how do your parents discipline you when you're naughty?"

At that point I asked them how they would respond to the question, "do you want a sister?" Ryan, one of our ten year olds, jumped out of his seat in the kitchen, grabbed a stack of 3x5 index cards, backed up into the family room and proceeded to ham it up. Looking up at us and then back down to the cards, he began flipping through the cards as if searching for something. We could hear him mumbling to himself, "wrong question" to a couple of the cards, and then he stopped on a card and pretended to read, "I really want a sister from China...smile big." Then he looked up at us and smiled big. What began as a serious discussion quickly gave way to a night of improv. I just hope the social worker is ready for my boys... (Pat)